we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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