she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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