I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
