Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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