Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
