FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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