Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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