I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize