ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
