i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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