The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
