Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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