READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
