if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
