so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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