idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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