I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I lost the right to judge tonight
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
