My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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