I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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