My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
