Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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