He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
