I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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