Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
zippers are such a cool invention
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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