Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
