I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
