I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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