i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dignity is for republicans.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
