pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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