she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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