I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
