i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's just so happy...and so naked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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