i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
