it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
