i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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