I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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