I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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