There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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