I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
