She is in my trunk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
