He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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