In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....