Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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