I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!