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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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• (+44): View more from England

  Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.

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• (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.

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• (858): View more from California

  Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0

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• (631): View more from New York

  So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning

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