Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
