I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
