her vagine was all disorganized.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
