guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
