she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize