I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
