My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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