So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize