If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Farmville is her only friend.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
