Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
