You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
