i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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