And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
